Start Over
by Chellebobaggins
Summary: A (lengthy) one-shot about what I would like to happen after Bobby kicks Ann out of Southfork in Season 3.


The house was no longer a home. In any sense of the word. Ann stepped out from the wreckage into the crisp daylight and the hot wetness of her unshed tears clashed with the icy chill of morning. Shards of what had been the gutters grazed the knee high riding boots that treaded amongst them. Reaching the Chevy, the realization sank in that Bobby wasn't following her, nor was he likely to. Today anyway.

_He needs time. I know he does. Make it to the car without crying. Hell, why bother holding it in?_

Clambering into the driver's seat, she took off. Once she was off the property the tears came down. Sharp, guttural cries from the infantile part of her that wanted to tell Bobby not to act like this. The part of her that felt deprived of something she felt she had earned after almost a decade of marriage. A home of her own. Finding herself alone for the first time in years, Ann went to ask the empty car where she should go. What should she do now that the only place she had been content to call home was in ruins and she had no place in it, for the moment at least. He would move past this. Wouldn't he? Pulling over and taking out her phone, Ann considered calling Emma until the visual of Judith hauling her off returned.

_Why don't you ask your blushing bride?_

Shaking her head as if it would make the memory vanish, Ann sighed loudly. Quickly scanning her contact list, her fingertip stopped at Sue Ellen's name, before she decided against it. Perhaps some time alone, with a little perspective would be no bad thing she mused, continuing to search despite her instincts warning her that she was her own best bet for company. The list ran on and suddenly disappeared. A brief moment of confusion turned to stomach churning sickness as his name appeared on the screen. Why was he calling her? Emma, she thought.

"Harris?"

"Annie, I heard about the fire-"

"Who the hell do you think you are?!"

It was clear even over the phone that he was stunned. Ann practically felt him blink widely in shock.

"Is this somethin' in particular I've done, or-?"

"You bet your sorry ass it is. Where are you? I want to talk to you, face to face."

"How about I meet you somewhere? My mother and Emma are here and I-"

"I'll be there in ten minutes. Emma needs to hear this."

Hanging up on him, a loud gasp filled the vacuum in the car as she inwardly shunned herself for going to see him. What would Bobby think of her? Why did she think so little of herself? When and how did that happen?

When she went to pull into the driveway, she nearly ran into Harris who was standing at the gate ready to greet her. Raising his hand in a gesture that pleaded for peaceful compliance, he opened the car door. Those eyes were alive with fury and a small part of him was comforted by it as he sat in.

"Let's go someplace where my mother won't find us. Please?"

"I don't care if she does hear what I have to say to you. She's just made all of this worse. As usual."

"Please drive, Annie."

The nervous shift in his eyes from window to window of the house made her reverse and drive down the highway in case they received an unwelcome visitor.

"If you're gonna berate me, Annie why not do it at Southfork. I'm sure Bobby would be pleased."

Staying quiet, Ann felt the younger, more insecure her inside her head. The Ann who thought that anger was never the answer.

"Bobby kicked me out of Southfork."

Peripheral vision told her that he was looking at her intently.

"What? What did you do?"

The car came to a screeching halt in the middle of the highway. Turning to face him, Ann felt her face erupt in a fiery heated anger she had only ever felt when those close to her were in danger. Feeling her mind lose all sense of coherence, she raised her arm and slapped him straight across the face.

"Because of you, you son of a bitch! Your mother saw you kiss me and she marched into the hospital and told Bobby! And Emma! And now I don't know what to do! Bobby wants to be apart while he thinks things over and I don't…"

The echo from the sharp contact reverberated against Harris' cheek and also on Ann's reddened palm as she buried her face in her hands. Bitterly, she started the car again. Even though his eyes were closed, Harris felt as though she could see and feel everything he was thinking.

"I'm sorry, Annie."

"Sorry! The only thing you've ever been sorry for in your whole miserable life, is yourself. I kicked Emma out like he asked and then your mother, that heinous witch, came in and paraded around my husband and my daughter like she was doin' me a favour. You will make this stop. You will! I have nowhere to go and it is your fault!"

Pulling into the first car park they passed, Ann parked and wrapped her arms around the wheel, hiding her face. The sight of her slumped shoulders and the sound of her ragged breath made him feel heavy with guilt. Instinctually, Harris went to rub her back and stopped short of any contact for fear she would actually kill him.

"I know you love him. It was wrong of me, I'm sorry. I just…I couldn't help it."

"How can you not help it? After twenny years?" She looked around at him, one eyebrow raised. Her breath caught in her throat as she took in the look he gave her. "Why did you…?"

"I never stopped lovin' you. Despite what you think. I'm so sorry."

Looking at her, he felt her eyes search his with the intensity of lasers. This was not an unfamiliar look; from the moment they met he had occasionally seen this same glance. Behind it, she was determining whether or not he was telling her the truth. An Aurora Borealis of green and blue hints filled his sights once more and he was glad of it, even if she was prepared to kick him out.

"What can I do? Do you want me to go talk to Bobby? Apologise to him?"

Ann stared at him incredulously.

"Have you lost your mind? He'll go berserk if you show up."

"Did he just kick you out because I kissed you?"

The look she gave him was cutting enough to shut him up.

"It's a buildup. I kept so much from him and now I-I…I don't know if he can forgive me and move past this. Your mother made it sound….she made it sound like we were making out. I know he wants to believe me, but he's tired and…ugh…so am I. Of all of this."

Rolling his eyes in rage at his mother, Harris absent-mindedly stroked Ann's back. Warmth and comfort were two things she craved so badly that she ignored the intimacy of the gesture. Sniffling, she blinked slowly, still leaning over the steering wheel.

The silence was not uncomfortable as they both contemplated what to do about their individual predicaments. Harris let out a sigh that was also a half laugh. Frowning, Ann looked at him as he waved his hand, dismissively, as though it were nothing.

"Funny isn't it?"

"Not so much, Harris."

"Nah, I mean the fact that we're back here, where we started."

Her expression conveyed that he was all but eluding her.

"Me trying to avoid my mother, you running from problems at home. Both of us…"

Perhaps it was best not to finish that thought.

"Both of us running through life…tryin' to find a moment…where we could just….be."

Nodding, he watched her. She had always understood what he was thinking. Even when she didn't like what she saw. Returning his gaze, Ann asked:

"What changed Harris? Why are you doing all this now? Twenty years too late?"

The stare between them was long, heaving with words unspoken.

"My conscience caught up with me. That and…I lost the insufferable pride you always said I had."

Now it was her turn to laugh.

"You? Lose your pride. That's rich."

"Yeah, well. After you left, there didn't seem to be much point in holding onto anything…anymore."

Icy tension filled the small space between them. Without ever intending to, her other strength had come to the fore; an innate ability to wound him right where it hurt most deeply. Averting his eyes from her in embarrassment at the feelings he had relayed, Ann felt her stomach drop.

"I'm…I'm sorry I said that."

Pursing his lips briefly, she saw that was all the response he was prepared to give. Waiting for that to change, her heart pounded severely against her ribs as he shifted his eyes down to her lips. The pained expression he bore as he tore his eyes away when he realized she had seen him, told her more than he wanted her to know.

"Harris?"

Turning to face her again, the last thing he saw was the brilliant aquamarine flash of her eyes before they were extinguished temporarily by her closed lids. The softness that enveloped his lips caused him to grunt in deeply glorious surprise. Feeling everything so heavy and burdensome on both their shoulders melt away at the contact, he took her face in his hands, as she grasped the lapel of his coat.

Gently breaking the kiss to look at her, he mentally recorded every nanosecond of her movements to retain for all time in case he should lose her again. The quiet fluttering of her eyelids as they opened was enough to send him into overdrive. Lost in the distant familiarity of one another, his fingers became entangled in her dark golden curls and her hands disappeared under the heavy coat.

Grasping a mound of her hair, Harris roughly pulled her closer, eliciting a shocked gasp from Ann. Breaking the kiss, he clenched his fist tighter.

"Unless you tell me to get out and drive away right now, I'm never letting go."

The eyes he stared into shone with the brilliance of crystal and it became sharper the more she narrowed them.

"If I kick you out and send you back to your mother, do you swear you'll never come back into my life again?"

"I swear."

His eyes burned with an all-consuming fire as he silently demanded that she keep looking at him.

"Say it again."

The brush of his fingertips under her shirt, against beautifully naked skin caused Ann to shiver and her eyes closed.

"Harris…"

"Look at me."

The tone told her he would desist until she obeyed and so, she opened her eyes at the same time as his hand slid down across her crotch. Stroking her through her jeans, Harris devoured her mouth savagely. Rubbing her, he felt her muffled cries echo into his throat as he half satiated the wetness he could almost feel through the coarse material.

The dagger-like pain he felt as she clawed at his neck in excitement was the first sensation he had felt in so long that wasn't numbness. However smart he thought he had been in catching her off guard, he had not expected the hand that was now undoing his belt to be so fervent.

Catching her arm, he tried to resist the growing temptation, which was even more difficult when she looked up at him in shock.

"Not here."

"Where then?"

The smile that he couldn't stop breaking across his lips, was enough to encourage Ann. Reaching forward, she returned to unlatching his belt and all that lay waiting for her behind it. Again, he stopped her.

"Let me drive."

Switching seats, she flicked her hair back slightly disgusted that he had deemed the roadside not a good enough venue for their adventure. Then she heard herself think about the words "sex' and 'roadside' in the same sentence and was glad that one of them at least hadn't had a complete rush of blood to the head.

A few miles down the road, Harris swerved off track in a direction Ann was unfamiliar with.

"Where are we goin?"

The sudden burst of light through a clearing was an answer to the question.

"I bought this a few years after we were divorced. When I couldn't handle how much time my mother spent in the house we had shared together."

Ann's eyes widened like saucers as the Tudor style townhouse gleamed back at her. The inside was bound to be decorated in Judith's trademark style, she was sure. When she stepped in and found herself surrounded by understated elegance, minus the gaudy opulence she knew so well, it became clear that Harris had never informed his mother about this place.

"You look surprised."

"Well…I am" she laughed.

"It's so…different…"

"Well, I picked out everything myself. You can stay here for as long as you like. If you like."

Turning to face him, she saw the hope in his eyes that she would stay. That she would want to stay. Slowly, that look dissolved and something much fiercer took over. Lunging forward, he took her in his arms and kissed her tenderly before their lips naturally parted. Hovering so close, she heard him.

"Please…"

Removing her hands from their protective pose across her chest, she allowed him to take her coat. Sweeping her hair across to one side, his fingertips landed on her neck and devastatingly slowly, he traced his way up and along her jawline before he brought his lips to rest in the crook of her neck.

Finally, she got her hands on that belt of his and he smiled as she tugged at it until it eventually opened. Looking up at him, she grinned.

"Your very own chastity belt."

Roughly, he lifted her up and took to the stairs. The dark look that clouded his face didn't frighten her. By allowing herself to feel what she had known always lay deep down inside her, she had awakened a stronger part of her being. One that had deserted her in the face of so much abuse from his mother. It was empowering to know he could see that strength, could feel it and gradually the darkness diminished as it had done so many years ago when he took her in his arms. Putting her down inside the room, he shut and locked the door.

"Only you have the key."

The softness in her heart, the light that she brought into his life was touched. There was no point in lying to herself. Whether or not he had taken the time to be promiscuous over the last twenty years had often crossed her mind. Especially through memories of the nights they'd shared. Sweet eternities that were long gone.

Leaving him where he stood, she walked to the bed, unbuttoning her shirt as she moved. The dark red was flattering on her over jeans and boots that she daintily stepped out of. The hint of black lace beneath them was infinitely more attractive he decided. When she had discarded her outer clothes, she turned to face him. Lying back, she rested on her elbows, stretched out in a graceful line. Raising one knee, she kept her eyes on him.

Harris smiled oddly and Ann's blood ran cold.

"You know, Annie….I can't help but feel that you're doing this just to get back at Bobby."

For a second she swore her heart stopped. Then, she saw Harris loom above her, admiring the view as he leaned against one of the four posters that cornered the bed.

"I'm not, but I'm beginning to feel like you're goin' somewhere I don't like with this, Harris."

"Tell me why you're here."

Ann shut her eyes to block out the annoyance she felt. Opening them, she stared at him. Harris reached out with one finger, preparing to run it along her thigh. As he hovered inches away, Ann shot forward and pulled him down to her. Engulfing his mouth with hers, she bit his lips and the lovingly caressed them better with her tongue. Releasing him, she spoke up as he gasped:

"You want to know why I'm here?"

Taking his hand, she pushed his fingers under the thin shower of lace that covered her. Harris' head dropped, but not before Ann had seen his eyes roll back in his head.

"Look at me!' she growled.

Snapping his head up, Harris could barely contain the desire he felt. Sliding on top of her still fully clothed, he lay one hand under her neck, whilst keeping the other firmly where she had left it.

"Don't you dare look away from me."

She swallowed hard as he mutely prepared her for what was about to happen. Was she mistaken, or were his eyes watering? Before she had a chance to think about it, his fingers sank into her hot, wet folds. Roaring in ecstasy, she cried out for him.

"I said look at me, Ann."

At this, her eyes shot open. Harris had a way with the tone of his voice. He had a way with his hands too as his thumb worked her clit rapidly. Bucking beneath him, she reached up and stroked his cheek as he did the same to her. The trickle of tears he felt from those beautiful eyes was nothing in comparison to the rush of wetness he felt replenishing her repeatedly. She really was good at keeping secrets. How long had she kept this one for, he wondered. Seeing her writhe in ecstasy stirred something deep inside him. Gently, he wiped her tears away and felt his own betraying him. Ann didn't flinch, instead she wiped his away too. Bringing her hand around his neck, she pulled him closer and closed her eyes.

"I said-"

"Shut up."

Silencing him with a kiss, she felt him remove his pants. Undressing meant he had to take both hands away from her and she whimpered when his touch was gone. The surprise on his face was instantly replaced by a willingness to please as he threw his clothes to the side and scooped her up. Moving to the head of the bed, he grasped the headboard. Knowing where he was intending on going, Ann sat up and took the lead. Straddling him, she ran her fingers delicately over the scar she had left while he watched her, entranced by her beauty.

Something came over her features that seemed very much like sadness. Before it could resonate, Harris took her face in both hands and kissed her.

"I love you, Annie."

Her eyes misted with tears, but she seemed to be in control of them. Wrapping his arms around her, he inhaled sharply as he felt himself press against her. There was no greater comfort than holding her this close and he considered telling her as much until she spoke to him.

"Fill me up, Harris."

The bravado in him disintegrated at the command.

"My pleasure."

The smug smile quickly dissipated, as he was suddenly struck by something unrecognizable. It was only when he saw Ann's head loll back and heard her scream his name that he realized it was the sensation of entering her that had electrified his entire body. Burying his head against her chest, Harris felt the heat that spread across her skin as she neared the edge. The sound of her voice crying out for him to relieve her made him happy to be alive and simultaneously satisfied if it were the last thing he should ever hear. The surging wetness that drenched him was unbearably beautiful. Roaring from the pent-up frustration of so much unresolved tension, Harris stroked her walls with every inch of him. Ann let out a stifled cry that became a fully fledged scream of passion. Forcing herself to be patient, she bit her lip only to find Harris giving her a meaningful look that ordered her to let go. Refusing, she slammed her eyes shut as the moan that grew at the back of her throat threatened to escape.

"You always were stubborn, Annie."

To make her come harder and to ensure she obeyed him, he applied pressure to her clit again as he continued to move with her. Unable to bear it, Ann cried out, tears filling her eyes.

"I need you…please."

Harris paused as she spoke. Something had changed in her eyes. Something that he couldn't quite define, but he knew what that look was asking for.

"Please…" she begged him, eyes narrowing as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

It was more than he needed and with a violent shudder, he filled her with two decades of unrequited love and desire, just as she had asked. Later that night, he stroked her cheek as she slept. Her face was simply gorgeous, framed with dark gold curls and a quiet smile. Wrapping her in his arms, Harris sighed with contentment for the first time in over 20 years. Feeling her drowsily wind her arms about him, he closed his eyes for the most peaceful sleep of his life.


End file.
